Broke

If it ain't broke, don't fix it. If it is broke, you better take some time off and get someone to have a look at it!

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Boil, Boil, Toil and Trouble...

The cheesecake experiments continue...a little on the mushy side today but the testers still have positive responses. 1 week in...but the "ADD" keeps creeping in and I keep adjusting too many things at the same time. I think I'm close, though.
Been making Caesar Salads since I got romaine lettuce in my "organic box" last week. Today trying it out on real people...we'll see how it goes.

Woops...

Change is risk. When you decide to make a change, it will cause other things to change. Sometimes in predictable ways, sometimes in unexpected ways. The unexpected can range from wonderful, pleasant surprises to the "shit hitting the fan" surprises. We usually chose to make changes for the better...but with that always comes the possibility that things won't work out the way you thought they would. Then it's the "shit hitting the fan".
Excuse me, I have to go try to clean up.

Anxiety.

Anxiety can get any of us. So many changes in life always happening. Most of the time, we don't really notice a lot of the small ones. It's usually the big changes that we notice. When they are really big, abrupt immediate rock-the-world changes, we really notice them. We can get lulled into a sense of security from repetition and routine. Then changes happen because it's life and, well, they just do. Maybe small ones are easier to accommodate and we aren't even really conscious of them happening. Bigger ones can be like crashing into a brick wall. The immediate, overwhelming impact forces us to go into "auto-pilot" mode and survive. Then there are the anticipated changes...the "what if" changes. These produce the most anxiety. Not just the anticipated change, but it's more the "what if" part. Thinking about all the things that could happen, that's what brings the anxiety. I remind myself that nothing will happen that is more than I am able to handle and the speculative nature of the mind (which is a wonderful thing and a source of creativity) - in this case - is only working against any sort of sanity and anxiety free (or at least less anxious) mode of living. I keep my head down, see what's in front of me and take the next step.

As I was saying...

You hear the sayings so many times..."Live in the moment". "You only live once". "Life passes in the blink of an eye".
We hear these sayings over and over, yet do we really understand them? Have we experienced it and try to actively live them? Do we really understand what it means to "be present" or to "live in the moment"? Time helps one hone these skills because it IS a skill. It does take practice, mistakes and experience, as with anything. We rarely do anything perfect the first time. It is our repeated trials and errors that give us knowledge and information and learning. If you did everything perfect the first time, there would be no learning. If you were like NEO in the Matrix, it would be called "downloading". It would not be "learning". Learning allows us to experience the permutations and possibilities. It allows us to collect information to accommodate a broader understanding of the whole. Life...like jiu-jitsu...



P.S. to Weezy: Calphalon Unison

New Subject: Food

A new topic addition with my return to the "blogworld"...FOOD. My food. Your food. Our food....no...MY FOOD.
I recently bought myself an present and an investment. I purchased a somewhat expensive set of cookware. I researched for over a week on the internet comparing brands and "greenness" and adjusting my priorities of what was important to me. I read review after review and even took an exploratory trip over to Bed Bath and Beyond so I could see the pots and pans up close and in person. I wanted to see them, touch them, feel them (hi, Tommy! - I never actually saw the movie, though) not just look at them on Amazon on my laptop screen. So, with no intention of purchasing that day, I went and looked. Then I dared to ask the sales guy (after all, what would HE know? He was a DUDE and this was cookware! This was gonna be a trick question! More fun for me!) what he thought the best cookware was. He shows me two lines of one brand and of course (wouldn't you know it???), it's some of the most expensive stuff in there! Duh, of course it is...he's a "SALESMAN" and it's his J-O-B!!!! Duh.
Okay, well I kept the conversation and questions going and of course they (coincidentally) are having a few extra sales incentives going on (I almost felt like I was buying a car!) and he made some really good points and told me about his experience with his set...and it freaking works on me! DAAAMMMMMIT!!!!!!! He got me!!! Well, at least I must say that I did exercise the self control to leave the building without any purchases...only to run home to get on the computer and start researching MOOOOOORE!
I returned the next afternoon pretty set on what I was going to buy (and even had a friend running "text [emotional] support". Jack Bauer has Chloe to help him save the world from a "new-que-luhr" catastrophe and I need help purchasing a...pan). I started talking to another sales dude in the cookware section (thinking I would see what HIS answers were and compare them) and it was pretty much the same. So with text support in hand, I committed to the set, my free extra pan plus my gift card reward. Of course, if I just spent a little more on the same brand, I could get ANOTHER gift card reward! So, what else do I need? A bakeware set and some utensils to go with the cookware? Of course. It took me a while, having to call upon my childhood Price Is Right experience, but I shopped around a put together the most useful and needed group of "stuff" while trying to get above the required amount to qualify for the extra gift card...but not too much above the amount!
I did it! I got my cookware, bakeware and utensils and made the investment not only in my first "adult" cookset but it's really and investment in myself. It's my commitment to learn more about cooking, baking and food.

The Security Of Life

There is none.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Where does time go? How quickly it can seem when looking back. When you are in the moment and living each day it can pass and you don't notice it until you get to some changing point and have to re-orient yourself. Same as in competition, you prepare each day, each practice, and then at the competition, the goal is to be present and to live the moments. After it's done, it seems like it all went by so quickly. How time changes. How time gives us...experience...hindsight....gray hairs.....
The accumulation of each moment slowly adds up to hours, days, weeks, years...and we look back and try to wrap our head around it. The series finale of "Six Feet Under" did an amazing job of contextualizing the moments in the lives of the characters we have watched. How do we do that in our own lives yet stay present? How do we organize time? Chapters!!!